A Tumblr-based blog that launched last week sarcastically takes restaurants to task for having notoriously bad websites.

The blog, titled Never said about restaurant websites features daily faux quotations that you can bet are never uttered in reference to sites belonging to dining establishments, which are often weighed down by unnecessary animations, overuse of Flash and menu PDFs.

A few examples:

"I love it when you give me vague directions instead of an address I can copy into Google Maps."

"I enjoy the realistic experience of clicking and dragging virtual pages back and forth to view the wine selection."

"I don't want the restaurant's title to appear right away. I want to watch it slowly write itself out ... in cursive."

"It was like the restaurant was reading my goddamned mind when the website cleared up whether or not it was open for brunch on labor day last year."

In addition to this hilarity, the site also offers some straight-forward advice about how restaurants can build simpler Websites.