"Look into the lens on your computer and really bore through it like you're trying to hypnotize me," Tyra Banks commanded. I tried. I really did. But I'm not sure it worked.
I was participating in a Skype videoconference with super-model-turned-tech-entrepreneur Tyra Banks, who was bobbing her head and snapping her fingers - and introducing her new photo editing app, Smize Yourself, which costs $1.99 and is available on Apple's App Store.
A handful of tech journalists were invited to be on the call and bask in the presence of Tyra. We got one question each. (You can see the video below.)
So what exactly is smizing? "It's all about smiling with your eyes," Banks explained.
Fair enough, but I'm still not sure what the app actually does, though it has something to do with smiling, and it seems to be a tool to edit photos and add an exaggerated smile to your face.
"It morphs the face based on putting certain pointers on certain parts of your face. Like your eyes, or mouth, if you get that right, you should symmetrically pull your eyes into an exaggerated smize," she explained. "It's a fun thing you do in a bar after work. It's something you do with your friends."
So think any celebrity over 50 with a facelift. If you use the app correctly, you too will look like that. Awesome! Sounds like just what I want to do with my friends at the bar. I can picture it now: Hey girl, wanna check out my smize? No, wait. Hey girl, let's smize. Um ...
Finally came my turn to ask a question.
"Can a straight man be fierce," I asked.
"Hell yeah!" she said.
Here's where things got interesting, because that's when Tyra Banks broke down what exactly the kind of things she looks for in a man. It was like she blew wind in my sail. To be honest, it sounded like she was describing - me.
"You kind of have to act like you don't care," she began. Check.
Then she broke rank and told me not to smile at all, and to lean my head back and act disinterested. So, I did. At this point I knew I had her wrapped around my finger and this whole interview-interviewee thing was just a loose veil to what this was really about.
"If a man is looking off camera, he actually has higher engagement from females."
"That's right," I said nonchalantly. "I'm not even gonna look at you anymore, because I want you to engage with me."
"Oh my God, I want you so much right now," she purred like a kitten.
"I don't even want you right now, Tyra," I said, looking away. "I don't even want you."
That's when Tyra's PR handler jumped in and moved on to the next questioner. Damn.
Image courtesy of Shutterstock.