Silicon Valley Street Style is a weekly feature that looks at the intersection of fashion, technology and taste.
The business suit onesie is here, guys! Finally!
Clearly we’ve all been waiting for the day when Betabrand would unleash the perfect onesie to make it look like wearers put in the tireless effort to create an outfit.
The Suitsy is a protoype clothing piece created by San Francisco gentleman Jesse Herzog.
In the description of the onesie Herzog writes, “Welcome to a revolution in apparel for the modern gentleman. Imagine looking professional but feeling like you’re in pajamas.”
Betabrand, an online apparel store, allows mock-ups of potential clothing pieces wherein customers vote and comment on each entry. The winning piece then gets crowdfunded and turned into a real Betabrand product.
Some people critique Silicon Valley’s love for casual dress. Startup t-shirts, hoodies, sneakers and backpacks certainly infest the Bay’s tech scene. Does this mean that Suitsy would be the perfect must-have item for Silicon Valley’s comfort-loving demographic?
As of this post, the Suitsy stands at more than one thousand votes, with 23 days left to vote. That’s one thousand people who either want to wear a business suit onesie, or see the Suitsy on somebody they love. One of these people may show up to your workplace in a Suitsy. He (or she) could even be one of your friends, or your family. And you may never know.
Frankly, the Suitsy is sartorial fabrication. It is a one-piece masquerading as time, effort and style. Some might consider this a miracle—Betabrand customers on the Suitsy voting page are already praising the clothing piece.
“So you are saying I can go to sleep in what feels like pajamas, wake up and not have to change to go to work? Genius,” says commenter Eric Tao.
See also: Normcore Nerds Flock to Gingham Shirts
Another commenter, Susan Delly, says, “If reasonably priced, I’d get this for several of the guy gifts on my Christmas list!”
Of course, every seemingly miraculous product must have its drawbacks. Here are some concerns that I have:
- What about when your partner is cold and you sheepishly can’t offer your jacket because it is literally attached to every other item of clothing on your body and to take it off would mean you’d be naked?
- What if you’re out on a really hot day and you’re just sitting there sweating bullets and everyone is looking at you funny because you refuse to take off your jacket because you and only you know that there is actually nothing underneath the jacket? See: above.
- What if you decide to engage in some spontaneous bedroom time? You’re just going to strip that business onesie right on down in front of someone you’re trying to impress? Just throw the Suitsy on a chair like some sort of hollowed-out animal carcass?
- Can you imagine the aftermath of actually stepping back into the Suitsy and zipping it back up?
I just want to know how realistic navigating your life in a Suitsy would be, and what living life in public in a comfy onesie might look like.
Don’t get me wrong—working in a fluffy pajama onesie sounds pretty wonderful right now.
But I actually would respect the person brazen enough to publicly wear the sleeping onesie more than the person zipping up the business suit onesie pretending that they’re putting on something more than just full body sweats.