Sure, creating a great commercial for the Super Bowl is tough. But it may be even tougher to come up with truly awful stinkers like these five losers. 

Super Bowl XLVII had its share of great commercials, but these five hit new lows in wasted money, poor targeting, lack of imagination and sheer poor taste.

(See also: The 5 Best Super Bowl 2013 Ads)

5.  Toyota: “Wish Granted”

It’s not easy creating a commercial as scattered and unappealing as this, but Toyota rose to the occasion. In this stunning show of just how easy it is to blow $2 million on production and media, we were treated to the overused and unfunny idea that if you buy a Rav 4, you may have anything you wish for. The genie misunderstands the request: hilarity ensues. Boring vehicle, boring concept, boring execution. Perhaps Toyota has actually nailed its brand essence with this one.

4. E-Trade: “Baby”

How far the mighty have fallen. A ground-breaking campaign when it debuted, this the E-Trade baby has lost his mojo, resulting in this unfunny, forced spot. The problem is that the latest version of the baby has lost his original attitude, that snide quality that made us all think of “that guy with the stock tips” we all know. Instead of showing us how easy it is to use E-Trade, this baby tells us how great E-Trade is, then takes us on a photoshopped tour of what he’d do with all the money he makes. What was once a smart-ass 25-year-old in the shape of an infant has devolved into an ordinary talking baby. Sad.  

3. Mercedes: “Soul”

Here’s an example of throwing money at a problem with no idea of what you want to accomplish. Even conceding the idea that a Mercedes for the masses is the right thing for their brand, why not just tell us about the car? Instead, it takes the Rolling Stones, Willem DaFoe as the devil, about 20 locations, and Jon Hamm’s voice to leave us bored, uninformed and unimpressed.

2. Oreos: “Library’

Everything Tide did right, this package-goods spot does wrong. Displaying a staggering lack of understanding of its target audience, this spot takes place in a library and attempts to trade on the age old Oreos debate – cookie or cream. The debate escalates until the entire library is involved and the police arrive. But here’s the kicker: everybody whispers! Even the police bullhorn emerges as a whisper. What fun. What imagination. What a shame.

1. GoDaddy: “Kiss’

Go Daddy has a well-deserved reputation as the bad boy of Super Bowl advertising. Its use of scantily clad women in questionable situations have often been outrageous and sometimes funny. The company has worked hard to make what is essentially a dull commodity service into a sexy brand. This spot goes a long way to negate all that hard work. Featuring perhaps the most disgusting kiss ever filmed, it features supermodel Bar Rafaeli locking lips with an overweight, seemingly underage actor. The sound effects alone are almost enough to bring up your nachos. 

It will be talked about. It will be remembered. It may even be liked by a twisted few. But it does nothing to enhance Go Daddy’s brand, and the only person more uncomfortable watching this debacle than the audience must have been Danica Patrick, who is inexplicably standing in racing leathers to introduce the amorous couple. Worst spot of the evening – maybe the worst spot of the year.

Which spots did you hate the most? Let us know in the comments.

bill paul