Jason Kottke has summarised Lawrence Lessig’s new book, Free Culture, in 100 words using Microsoft Word’s AutoSummarize feature. Jason’s reasoning was that “no one has the time to read books anymore”. Sounds about right. So, inspired by this, I decided to do the same with my 50,000-word Nanowrimo 2003 novel Dirtside to Spaceside. The result is hilarious. Also oddly revealing. So if you’ve been wondering what I’m wittering on about whenever I talk about my novel, here it is condensed to 100 words (technically 98):

Declan awoke suddenly. So Declan did.
“Oh hi Declan mate. Declan couldn’t focus. Declan waited.
Declan sighed. Declan squirmed.
     “Declan! Declan recoiled. Declan said. “Oh, we’re Declan. Said Declan. “Hello Declan Atomz. Declan checked himself. “Hello Declan. Declan grimaced. Declan gulped. Declan nodded. Florrie hugged Declan suddenly.
You’re a star Declan!”

Declan’s shoulder felt tense.
‘Declan Atomz, New Zealand. Declan sighed. “Hi, I’m Declan. Declan gasped. How odd, thought Declan.
Declan’s mouth fell open. Declan shook his head. “Declan,
Declan said thoughtfully.
Declan suddenly felt energized. Declan Atomz?” Love, Declan.”
Declan’s heart sank. Declan pleaded.
“Greetings Declan,
     “Declan?”