Facebook is currently facing 31 consolidated lawsuits over its bungled $16 billion IPO last May, and the social media giant and dozens of banks have joined hands in asking a federal judge to throw them all out. 

Facebook's stance: before going public last May 18, "...it had no obligation to publicly disclose internal projections on how increased mobile usage and product decisions might affect future revenue," reports Reuters. In other words, Facebook thinks the investors collectively suing it are trying to enforce an SEC rule that has been ignored for decades - just because the stock ended up tanking after the IPO. The lawyer representing the plaintiffs has not responded. 

Turns out Apple CEO Tim Cook and his team celebrated too soon when they took a big victory lap last summer after a jury awarded Apple more than $1 billion in damages based on claims against Samsung.

Because the judge overseeing the case just tossed out almost half of that judgment — saying, in effect, that the jurors were a bunch of idiots who didn’t calculate damages correctly. And if Apple wants another crack at that money, it will have to go trial all over again. (In case you care, here's Judge Koh's actual ruling.)

It’s an amazing setback for Apple, but perhaps no big surprise. A lot of people right from the start seemed to realize that the jury in the case had done a lousy job by ruling too quickly without seeming to fully understand the laws it was charged with applying.

(See also: Apple's Thermonuclear Patent War Is A Farce)

Worse, this band of buffoons was led by a foreman, Velvin Hogan, who after the verdict went around giving interviews in which he revealed, over and over again, the many mistakes that he and his minions had made. Hogan indicated, for example, that the jury was trying to “send a message,” even though that wasn't its job. That was just one of many dumb moves on its part.

"Impermissible Legal Theory"

In her ruling today, Judge Lucy Koh said she was tossing out part of the judgment because the court had “identified an impermissible legal theory on which the jury based its award.”

Consequently, Koh ordered a new trial for damages on a bunch of Samsung products that Apple claimed infringed on its patents. The judge isn’t saying that the products don’t infringe, just that the jury didn’t follow the right procedure in calculating damages.

(See also: Another Apple Patent Gets Smacked Down; 'Thermonuclear War' Even More Of A Farce)

At the time of the verdict some observers noted that there seemed to be lots of problems with the jury’s decision. Nevertheless, Apple fanboys cheered. And Cook put out a ridiculous statement about how Apple wasn’t doing this for money, or to thwart competition, but because of “values.” (Gag me.) “We owe a debt of gratitude to the jury,” Cook wrote. “We applaud them for finding Samsung’s behavior willful and for sending a loud and clear message that stealing isn’t right.”

Patent Medicine

Problem is that since then, some of Apple’s patents have been struck down as invalid because of "prior art," meaning other companies, not Apple, had invented the technologies involved.

To put this another way: Apple found stuff that other people had invented, tricked the patent office into granting Apple patents on that technology, then used those patents to file bogus claims against competitors.

Worse, Apple wasn't just hoping to squeeze money out of its competitors by collecting license fees. Apple wanted to drive its competitors out of business, so it could have the market to itself.

So much for “values.”

I pointed out in December that Apple’s “thermonuclear” patent war is turning out to be a farce. Apple’s claims have been laughed out of courts all around the world. In a few cases where Apple has won some minor victory, its claims have been so trivial that opponents developed workarounds in a matter of days.

Today’s news makes Apple look even more ridiculous and pathetic.

Worse, while Apple has been pursuing this quixotic legal quest, its rivals in the Android camp just keep gaining market share. Android now runs on 75% of smartphones. Even in tablets, Apple has seen its market share eroding at a stunning rate, thanks to the rise of Android.

Thermonuclear Crater

All this started because Apple’s late CEO, Steve Jobs, threw a temper tantrum and vowed to go “thermonuclear” on Google for daring to create a rival to the iPhone. Jobs might have been a genius, but he was also a bully and a spoiled brat who couldn’t stand the idea that he couldn’t have the smartphone market all to himself.

Jobs was wrong. And now he’s gone. It’s time for Apple to stop this bullshit. Settle the cases and go back to competing based on products. Supposedly Tim Cook never wanted to sue Samsung in the first place. Now’s his chance to step up and do the right thing.

Image courtesy of Reuters

The man who claimed he was entitled to a 50% stake in Facebook because founder Mark Zuckerberg stole the idea from him stands accused of forging documents, filing a bogus lawsuit and orchestrating a multi-million dollar scheme.

On Friday, Federal investigators arrested Paul Ceglia, 39, of Wellsville, N.Y. on charges that included fabricating and destroying evidence. The charges were included in a 13-page complaint filed in federal district court in Manhattan.

The arrest appears to signal that federal investigators support Zuckerberg’s account of his work-for-hire agreement with Ceglia and seemingly ends the bizarre legal sideshow that has dogged Facebook during its meteoric rise.

Facebook Seems Pleased

"We commend the United States Attorney for charging Ceglia with federal crimes in connection with his fraudulent lawsuit against Facebook,” said Orin Snyder a partner Gibson Dunn and the attorney representing Facebook and Zuckerberg in the lawsuit. “Ceglia used the federal court system to perpetuate his fraud and will now be held accountable for his criminal scheme."

If convicted, Ceglia could face up to 40 years in prison. 

Doctored Documents

Ceglia "doctored, fabricated, and destroyed evidence to support his false claim," according to a statement from the U.S. attorney's office in New York City. Investigators also found a copy of the original contract between Zuckerberg and Ceglia which makes no reference to Facebook, according to the complaint.

Ceglia did contract Zuckerberg to programming work for the website StreetFax.com in 2003. In an April 2011 lawsuit Ceglia claimed Zuckerberg promised him a 50% stake in what would eventually become Facebook. Now, however, Ceglia’s claims are unraveling: federal investigators said Zuckerberg did not come up with the idea for Facebook until months after he worked for Ceglia and that he never received the bogus emails Ceglia cited in his lawsuit as proof of Zuckerberg’s promise.

U.S. Postal Inspectors verified Zuckerberg’s account that he had not received the emails by checking email servers at Harvard University, where Zuckerberg was a student and would take on work-for-hire programming jobs like the one he did for Ceglia.

An attorney for Ceglia could not be reached for comment Friday evening.

We’ll update this post when we hear back from Ceglia or his lawyer.